Congratulations on the daughter pickup meeting. It could be a temp check, and you did not fail! Of course you were nervous, you still care and are a nice guy. You behaved politely and businesslike, well done.
How was the french toast?
How is daughter doing?
I am also wondering the 50/50 custody, what schedule do you have? One week each or something else?
There are a lot of divorce people at work and some really bizarre schedules out there.
Stay strong.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
My employer was much more accommodating than I ever imagined
Be creative and think about your ideal schedule
Then talk to your boss about it
You may be pleasantly surprised
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
I like my schedule especially for the kids. I have to get up super early but I am also off early and can pick them up from school. My biggest problem is getting them to school as I leave early or work. But I am making a life for myself and them, I put an offer on a house yesterday. It's going to stretch my budget a little but I think it was a good purchase and investment.
I keep replaying the episode with my wife yesterday in my head. I am thinking to much about her today but this will pass. I could almost feel her reaching out for friendship yesterday but I am not interested in being friends. I would only really want to R or just be cordial for the kids.
I feel that if I where to be just friends that I would be selling myself short and not being true to my feelings. Believe me there are days when I want to just call her and tell her how my day was or play tennis with her. maybe do something with the kids together. But I don't because I know that will only lead to more heartache and misery down the road for me.
She asked for space and time so I am giving it to he and watching from a distance. I am praying daily for her safety, I also pray for the other man in her life as a way for me to find forgiveness in my heart. That might be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.
But I keep going getting a little better and stronger everyday. It's funny I was just telling DNJ on here the the N/C looks like its going to last a long time. Low and behold she came out to talk with me yesterday. Did it go well ? I don't know looking back I think I did okay. I was nervous but I looked and acted confident I wasn't overly polite but I wasn't rude either.
I guess I have to work on accepting the good as well as the bad. It's just it seems like it's been bad for so long it's hard to say something positive when it happens.
Thank you everyone for all of your help I hope I can pay it all back when I get to a place I can call success ! Whatever that may look like.
When my W seen me dress up, smiling that's when W cake Eating. Is hard to do this
But fake it till you make it.
W will ask you "where you going Or you have any plans
They do lot that. I again thank God for my family here
We remind each other to always keep it a zero.
Be that Dad and Man that you D will look at. Remember is ok to cry, and be sad and have your days Not in front of your kids.
My W would ask kids how is M. Does mom have friends they start Asking kids questions. Answer as you can.
When s9 said W said you have a girlfriend. I said s9 do you think I do S9 No or maybe then that's your answer and I smiled.
So get ready for this crazy ride.
One day at a time
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
I have followed he advice from this forum and I can see it start to work for me. I am GAL and moving on I had a great session with my I/C today and really started digging deep on some inner things I would like to work on. Turns out she thinks I have PTSD from all the fights and violence growing up.
My co dependent behaviors might be attributed from being a bully in school then being bullied as I got older. Being a bully was part of acting out from an absent father and a bipolar sister.
When I told her my story from being a youth she couldn't believe it. She said from meeting me she would have never guessed I have been through all of that and become the man I am today.
I am really going deep now and working on my journey I want to make the most of my time.
On another note I put an offer on a house yesterday and fingers crossed I can put down roots for my kids and give them a solid base to grow up in. I am proud of myself today it's tome to start being proud of myself everyday.
Wife is still reaching out daily it has always been about the kids but it is a far cry from not speaking for two months. I am not sure why this is happening but I still assume everything is still magical in affair land !
Feeling good today, my wife is mirroring me I think. She tried to reach out the last few weeks and I have kept my distance,now she is back to no contact. I am stating to develop a sense of her patterns. When things are good in affair land she is distant when they are not she starts coming around. I ma giving her what she wants a life without me in it. In her mind i will be there as her friend so she can justify her behavior. But I know I deserve better and that would be selling myself short.
