Gordie 23 one year after she dropped the D

[Gordie]

Journaling

Some thoughts about sexual reconnection

Because so many of us face MLC + infidelity in our situations

I think sexual reconnection is harder

MWD writes about this in healing from infidelity

I think for MLCers

Everything is slower and takes more time

This is why we keep expectations at zero

Another tricky thing is male-female sexual initiation

W has almost never initiated sex in our M

We had an active, healthy sex life

But I always initiated

Thus when she said I am not ready in January 2018

I left it alone and waited

I assumed she would indicate when she was ready

So somewhere in these past few months she was ready

I felt her warming up

But she never told me I am ready for sex again

Shebwas waiting for me to initiate

And I did no such thing

And then she finally did initiate in December 2018

And it was awkward for me

I think I was not ready

And after she pulled back from me

And then she got angry

For my lack enthusiasm and pursuit

So I changed things up

And started initiating sex again this past week

And she has been very receptive

It has been good for her

It has been good for me

We stopped having sex regularly in 2015 about one year before BD

When she started her fantasy affair with OM1

So it has been four years since we have been this intimate