I haven't commented on your sitch before, but I just wanted to say that you are not alone in what you are feeling in your last post. I'm basically a year now post-BD and can relate to the "holy s88t, we're actually doing this and she has no desire to talk about us" and "how can she just burn it all down/walk away like it was all terrible" and any number of other feelings of disbelief that you are experiencing.
The cold, hard truth is that there is nothing you can do beyond coming to acceptance that what is happening is out of your control, save yourself/kids and keeping walking your life for you. It is beyond a surreal experience. Even after a year of dealing with this stuff the whole "I can't believe this happening" still recurs in my mind from time to time.
As many vets will tell you and I'll say in cliff-notes style now, the best you can do is fully let her go/have her way and maybe someday down the line she will have second thoughts and reach out to you and maybe want to R. Thing is you will be a different person if that time comes about and you may not want her back. Too much damage could have been done by her, maybe you met someone else OR from all of the reading/learning you do on yourself and about relationships, you come to the realization that she as a person is one with whom you could never have a successful long term relationship with. At this point for me my emotions/feelings for my WW have far less to do with what I think of her in terms of her looks/my desire to have her back and way more to do with she is not a person who can have a successful relationship given her personality traits and manners. When it becomes a more cerebral decision for you and less of an emotional need for what you had in the past, that will really make it hard for you to want to R with her again.
You are early days and there is always hope. Live though only for you, invest in your life and protect yourself and your kids (if you have them) in any legal proceedings. There is a purpose for why you are going through this in your life even if it entirely makes no sense right now. Have the grace to be easy on yourself as you work your way through this.
