30 push-ups and 30 butterfly sit-ups while I was out grilling dinner tonight
——————————————————————————————————-
Been a little bit since I posted something about W.....and I did hear back from L via email earlier today. I have a couple more questions / comments for her that I will send her later.
From L’s email, especially with respect to my earlier-stated fears about W up-and-leaving and taking the kids:
“She has every right to move out of the current residence. But until there is a Court Order in place, she has no superior right to have the boys than you do....You can agree to the schedule she is proposing on a trial basis if she moves out. You just don’t agree to the overly comprehensive agreement she presented you with.”
L on W’s threats to go for sole custody, leaving me with little visitation?
“I think it is highly unlikely that she would ever get sole custody of your boys.”
———————————————————————————————————
W was unusually chatty and friendly with me tonight when she came home from work. I was chopping veggies for dinner prep, and she was holding / carrying YS. She told me that there is a small chance she may have a work thing on Sunday night. She also offered to help chop veggies while I take YS—I declined, saying I’m good.
As part of W’s job, given the nature of her work, she has to file an annual financial disclosure with the Feds. What it does is list any sort of assets / obligations held by the employee (and if married, the partner, or anything held jointly, too). While I was making dinner, she asked about one of my retirement accounts (employee pension / retirement through my employer, the Diocese)—“So, this TIAA account—what is that” and I explained to her what it is, that they switched to a new fund manager a couple of years ago, any $$$ from the previous fund manager was transferred over and blah blah blah. She then commented that my retirement balance seems rather....low (she made the comment that her account balance was twice mine), and she was curious about that and if I’ve been contributing, etc. I told her that yes I have been contributing, but also that 1.) my employer deposits a lump sum of $$$ once a year into the account (this will happen sometime in March, I believe, so it hasn’t happened yet but will soon), 2.) she’s been doing this longer than I have (she’s worked with the Feds longer than I’ve been at my current job—when we first moved out to SoCal, I was a SAH Daddy, and then I temped in a couple of capacities before landing my present job—didn’t have retirement benefits staying home with OS, or through temping) and 3.) her fund is probably managed differently than mine (probably different rates of return that influence overall balance).
I won’t tell her this (unless she already knows but is playing dumb / ignorant), but L told me that in the D process, assets / obligations all get split as CA is community property. That also includes her federal pension and her retirement account—the one that is twice the size of mine.
