Whirlwind of Hurt 7

[Twofeet]

I just have to get on here and vent because I am so angry right now I don't want to do something stupid. XW texted me about scheduling and then called me. She has an "appointment" most of the day Saturday into the evening, and this is her weekend with the kids. I said I am super busy Saturday, but I would be available Sunday. I also asked if this was overnight because I am available Saturday evening. She scoffs and says this isn't a date. I say what's going on cause the doc isnt open on Sat. She says she is too embarrassed to tell me. I say you dont have to tell me what it is. How about you just reschedule for next weekend when I have the kids? I say I am just booked up all day Saturday. She gets pissed and proceeds to talk about our MR and how if I want to be successful in a future R I need to be less selfish and I always put myself first in our MR and above our kids blah, blah, blah it's all your fault. I said if stuff comes up in the future to let me know however I am booked She threw in some foul language and more blaming. I just sighed heavily into the phone and said I hear what your saying, I need to go, goodbye.

I got off the phone shaking in anger. I want to call her selfish @ss up and give her a piece of my mind. I mean the school has been contacting me because we are late in tuition because she isnt paying her portion. I forwarded her the email a week ago only to have her get pissed at me and try to blame me. Last week she forgot the kids lunch for after school care on a 1/2 day. I let her know the school called. She wanted me to go get a lunch but I was wrapped up in work and over an hour away. It would have taken her 15 min to leave work, run to the grocery store, and drop it off at the kids school. She then blamed me for not taking off early to get the kids. (Official handoff time is 3pm). She forgot their lunch, but she says I am selfish and I put work above my family even though I am physically an hour away from even being able to head to the kids school which is another 30 min away.
I am the selfish one even though I am the one going to school events, taking D8 to tryouts, prioritizing my budgets around their education, taking them to counseling, and so much more.

I am just so tired of her effing sh!t. One minute she is nice and the next she is nasty. Is she delusional? Is she a narcissist?

I have been nonconfrontational with her, avoiding and ignoring arguments and her piss poor attitude. I need to be a coparent, treat her like a business partner and take the high road. When is enough going to be enough? I just want to tell her to go take a flying leap.