From what i know about the kind of person ex-h is and the person i am ( what ex-h knows of me, my beliefs, my values), he probably saw me on the shelf waiting for him. All the attempt he has made to be friend with me has backfired and angered him in disbelief that i could be so cold. Afterword, he justifies his betrail and reinforce his relationship to current OW until his unhappiness arise all over again. Then, another attempt occure.
Imo, it is a game pre-lost. By doing this back and forth of secrets, lies and deceit, it shows his lack of morals. He is currently going behind OW' s back and uses OW to "punish" me when i refuse to play.
He has voiced his remorse and regrets to the children for the pain he caused them but not to me. My feelings, my life, my schedules, my wants and my needs are TOTALLY disregarded. His image of the " good guy " is where it all lays down.
I was devastated 10 years ago and i feel bless now. Ex-h will never be a loyal, honest devoted husband. I do beleive he was for the most part of our 18 years together but not anymore to all his OWs. He needs admiration. If one does not fuel his ego, he' ll find his supply on the side.
It is repulsive to me. It make me see him with disgust and it make me feel shameful. The honest truth.
How does he feel? In front of me, like he is not good enough ( the tone of his voice, the sad look in his face ) and in front of OW , like he is king and has his [censored] together.. In front of the kids, back and forth between happy, sad, depress.
