I'm really interested in your deeper point about seeking out inner beauty as much as outer. I think it is something that I struggle with. My W is/was very thin and attractive in an angular way, with dark eyes and dark hair. That has always been the look that most appealed to me. She is/was also always a deeply sensitive, caring, athletic, funny and quite intelligent woman (I still believe this post BD). Quite frankly I thought she was out of my league. The women that I have dated recently have generally not fit that same mold physically (it is harder at 40 than at 30!). I have had no trouble finding women who have those personality traits which I am looking for, but it is hard to reconcile myself to the physical differences. Then I feel shallow for even caring about such things.
Let's be honest, the first thing a man looks for is physical attraction. After going through what I have, I'm good with having a woman who is "attractive enough." The woman will still have to be physical attractive to me, but I know how important the other things are now. My type is blonde hair, blue eyes, with a bit of curves. My XW is beautiful, blonde hair, blue eye, tall, great body, etc. I think I'm relatively handsome, but I felt like I married up in the looks department. However, maybe that kept me from being the alpha male that I was in previous relationships. She basically had me on a string. I'm not the jealous type, but maybe I was intimated by her looks.
