A familiar story with questions NINE

[RR17]

I really wish I could figure out how to credit posters in the quotes.

Your'e in a tough spot right now. I don't think your W will change her stance anytime soon if ever living in the same house together. I think you have to ask yourself can I live the way I am living right now (BTW a lot of middle age people live this way) for the rest of my life? If the answer is no then you should move on. I would imagine with trust issues it would be a brutal feeling every time something seemed off.

After studying theses sitches for almost four years, time and space are the only thing that turns these things around long-term.

All these things are true. In fact, they are true for most every LBS on here. We all have choices. Time and space are the ubiquitous factor in everyone's sitch.

RR, I think your sitch is much more than a FZ sitch. I think she is waiting you out. Usually Ws that do this are expecting one of two things:

1) You to eventually get fed up and to move on.
2) For you to get frustrated and show your true colors. Remember, they don't trust the changes that we make.

You are a year and a half in. In my sitch my MR turned around in 3 1/2 months. There is no set time for these things, every sitch is different. You could keep the status quo for the next 2 years or more before she comes around.

So really, what it boils down to is, how patient can you be?

I can't argue with this either.
As for waiting me out?
1) I've asked her this. She said she is not consciously doing this. Who knows? She is just taking it day by day. (her words)
2) She is improving almost every other facet in the relationship. She even responds to constructive comments. Something she has fought in the past because it would jeopardize her newfound sense of self.
My changes have been going on for over 1.5 years. My awakening was Aug. 2014. They were amplified last Summer upon BD #2.
I brought up many of these changes during our last R talk and she agreed that the changes have happened. Her comment was that she was in so much pain before and feelings had not returned. She said that prior to 2014, that she believed that I hated her. I pointed out that I had walked out on relationships for much less in my life and the fact that I stayed and worked and waited, that that should be a testament that I did, in fact, love her. She listened.

Remember guys I know her better than most anyone. I can usually tell how she will probably respond in most circumstances. Meaning she is predictable. If she had a plan she wouldn't be making it comfortable for me. She would push me out.

I honestly think she is waiting for something to happen to her. What? I don't think she knows.