Hate to say it but you have to get to the point where you don't "love" her anymore. It hurts to detach that far but even after what you feel like may be her coming back, it's not till you get to that point that you will really feel/see what you want going forward.

H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019