I have fought with this well after BD. It's been well documented that for 13 months I did whatever I could to save the M. I worked on myself and have WW do her own thing with the hopes that she can come out of the fog and try to save whatever M we had left. But instead of her seeing that, she dig into OM2 even more over the last few months. I have wasted a lot of energy trying to keep up hope and doing whatever I could to create that spark.
It never happened. She just continues to go deeper. So, I looked at myself and asked if all of this waster effort to save the MR is worth it. And the answer was finally a resounding NO at the beginning of the month. I came to that decision when I began socializing and came to the conclusion that there are other people other than WW who are attracted to me and will give me a chance.
WW made a mockery of her beliefs of cheating. She feels like she deserves her happiness and D5 deserves to see a loving, nurturing R.
Our vows were to care and love for each other. I tried to do my part but obviously poisoned the other parts of our MR. WW tried on her end, but gave up. She decided that being hypocritical was worth it for her chance at happiness. When that happened and she started her BS "casual" dating process in the "hopes that getting the experience we need to strengthen our MR".
She lied to me. She is using me (not much longer) and she knows it. That's not what a MR should be. That is not a definition of MR. I weakened our MR. She dealt the fatal blow to it. The MR is dead. There is no MR to save.
And that in my eyes, is the reason why I am starting to date. I am ready.
