Dating before D, centralized discussion

[SteveLW]

Did glad to see you healthy and happy and moving forward. I still think you should have waited until after D to start dating, but I realize that I am old-fashioned and modern society doesn't see it that way. But otherwise, very happy for you.

I still think you should have waited until after D to start dating, but I realize that I am old-fashioned and modern society doesn't see it that way.

That sadly may be true. However, the modern professional community of counsellors and therapists thankfully still do. I'm always very surprised to see the number of people who bounce so quickly to a new R - often with the first or second person they date. hopefully it works out.

I appreciate the respectful tone of your messages. However, ultimately I think the decision to date or not to date while separated is a personal one. Especially in the case of a LBS, the MR is generally over and done with even if the paperwork hasn't been (or can't be completed.) I don't see the benefit in passing judgement on people who are doing the best they can to move on with their lives.

Did, congrats on getting to such a good place. It's been a quite ride following your sitch, and I'm happy to see you end up where you are!

I appreciate the respectful tone of your messages. However, ultimately I think the decision to date or not to date while separated is a personal one. Especially in the case of a LBS, the MR is generally over and done with even if the paperwork hasn't been (or can't be completed.) I don't see the benefit in passing judgement on people who are doing the best they can to move on with their lives.

Did, congrats on getting to such a good place. It's been a quite ride following your sitch, and I'm happy to see you end up where you are!

Davide, while I agree with you and do not believe this should be mandated to the individual in any way, I have been around for nearly 50 years now and can tell you that the wrong decision can backfire. When Did's D4 is 18, and his W tells her "your dad and step-mom were together before we were divorced" he won't be able to refute that. I've seen it happen.

I did not date until my D was final and I can look both of my daughters in the eye and tell them that I never cheated on their mom and I honored my vows until the end. On a personal level I healed on my own and did not seek out another person to help get me through it with validation.

To each their own however for me it goes against my core values.

This is going to fall on deaf ears but I’ll give it a shot.

Your timeline indicates you began dating this woman early February, entered a “committed relationship” mid feb, and before you even leave feb she is involved in your 4 year olds daughter’s life and you are introducing her to your current wife?

You don’t see a problem with this?

Date all you want before technical divorce. For your own personal growth a committed relationship after a few dates isn’t healthy but it is what it is.

But I encourage you to think twice about the involvent of your four year old daughter with another woman you’ve known for a month while going through a divorce . I urge you.

In 11 years I’ve inteoduced d my daughter to 3 guys. All years after divorce. One I regret. I did it soon only because she knew him already. But I shouldn’t have had us spend so much together. Because it ended in 3 months. There one day, gone tomorrow.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months and when we really got to know each other and saw a future, we then autiously decided to introduce our kids 2 weeks ago.


You have he added transition of actively going through a divorce.

It should be one step at a time for you, but if not that, at least for her