Well you seem to have handled yourself quiet nicely in the bar. I'm not sure what you meant by moment 1, 2, etc. Touching your arm was a signal she was attracted and interested. Playing with her jewelry may have been a sign she was a little nervous or excited, IDK. I'd put more money on a woman (at least young ones) playing with her hair as a positive sign she's attracted to you. Another sign of positive body language, is when she is sitting with her body turned in your direction.
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She told me that we don't need to go silent between seeing each other and that we should chat in between. (Red Flag?)
No, I don't see it as a red flag. I was going to tell you (before I read where she spoke up about it) that you had let too much silent time lapse between first meeting her and the rescheduled date night. She probably got cold feet and told herself she did not know you well enough. So, from now on, when you meet a new lady and get her phone number, put that phone to use. If the date is a week away, then maybe give her a call about the middle of the week. Don't talk a long time, and don't call every day before actually going out on a date together. This is a way of getting better acquainted with each other. It's also a way in which she can detect your personality, without getting distracted by your good looks.......and vise versa.
As for how you conducted yourself throughout the evening with her, I think you did well. A few pointers I would make is to not discuss your recent sitch with WW. Not on the first date. If she should ask about your marital status, just tell you are separated or in the process of D, whatever. If you and the woman should have a continual dating relationship, then you would tell her more information, but I think freshly separated people should not discuss their previous spouse/marriage on the first few dates.
The only other suggestion I have is not to tell the woman that you are amazing, AMOAFWL, or that any woman would be lucky to have you. It's fine to say it on the board, but not to your date.
By reading the way you were beating up on yourself about how you had pursued her.....I thought you must have slept with her on the first date, or hounded her until she accepted a date. After reading the real account, I don't think you pursued anymore than she did. If you had been initiating all the texting and calls, then it would have been too much. You really need to stop being so hard on yourself.
I don't know what happened in your growing up years, and it's not necessary to know. Whatever it was, left you feeling as if your best is never good enough. I hope you won't see the suggestions I made as strong criticism. I think you did a great job at the bar and asking for a date. It didn't sound awkward or pushy. She seem to have enjoyed your company the night you met to eat.
By what you've written about her, I don't really get a feeling of her playing you. If she has come out of a bad relationship, she may be very cautious. I picked up on that the night at the bar, when you offered to go sit together. She wanted to return to the "group". To me, that suggested she felt more comfortable being in a group when she is meeting a man for the first time. I think when she did not hear anymore from you after giving you her phone number, she could have felt that you had lost interest or whatever. We could guess at what she thought all day, and it would be pointless.
I want to encourage you to date others. Please don't get serious about the first woman you date. You have a lot to offer, so be picky and take your time about commitments. It breaks my heart that you are starving for physical affection. There are a lot of people in the world who feel just like you.
Anyway, I suggest you wait for this woman to initiate the next contact. You are not in a committed relationship her and you don't need to be right now. I mean, even if she texts you again, that should not stop you from going out with someone else. Don't sit home wondering about this woman when there are millions of other women out there. I'm not certain I understand what you mean when you say you don't know how to slow down. When we tell you to go slow, we are saying don't jump back into a committed relationship before you have had time to date several women. Don't go out there dating, with the thought you are looking for your next spouse. Just date to have fun, expand your social life, and have a little companionship. Make sense? Don't get into another bad marriage, simply b/c you crave physical affection.
When I read about how your W pursued sex the first time you met face to face, it makes me wonder about her! I thought it was you moving too fast, but it sounds as if she was the instigator. I am old fashion, but if you were my son, I'd tell you to run from women who want to have sex when you first meet. IMHO, that would be a red flag!
Get back out there. Don't see everything as a rejection. It's not. It's often a blessing, and you just don't see it. Mark it down as experience and move on to the next woman. ((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
