I think I'm seeing some pulling away behavior, as expected. I will know more later this week when OD is supposed to come and see son.
I'm across the country watching my D perform in several productions. The day after the first one I sent him a picture of her in costume. He waited until the following morning to open the text and said only thanks. He didn't ask anything about it. I wrote back and said she was amazing by the way. No response.
She performed again a couple of days later. I was trying to decide whether to send him pics and possibly some bootleg audio I took. On the one hand, I didn't care for his response to the prior pic. On the other, I don't really care what he thinks anymore. Since I want to be the kind of person that would send my D's father pictures of her even after divorce, I went ahead and sent a few pictures. Instead of beating around the bush I also commented that she did great and that I had some audio that was too long to send. This time he opened the text right away but did not respond.
I imagine it is hard on him to get pictures of his daughter who he has not seen or talked to in over 2 years now. I've given him many suggestions on things he could do to improve the relationship and I have seen no evidence of effort. I don't even think she is that mad at him anymore. She knows I send him pictures and tell him how she's doing. I just think she wants to feel some grand gesture from him. I know it is up to them and I am trying to leave it to them.
I was also slightly annoyed that he did not bother asking me who was watching our son back at home. I think that would have been my first question. Nope. Nada. Nothing. At least not to me. I'm hoping he at least checked in on son back at home. I didn't ask him to stay with son (even though I suspect he's off) because the last time he did he did a major pull back from son and I didn't want to put son through that again. I just don't think he is anywhere near ready to be a parent or spend time in our home.
I'm very pleased that his regression is not something that I feel any concern about and that I was able to deal with him calmly as I would like to do post-divorce. I didn't even feel the slightest temptation to rip into him. Two years ago, after a similar concert, I sent him a text telling him that I was heartbroken for him that he was choosing to miss these moments of her life. I got a monster text back (which I deserved) and which broke out in a nasty text battle. I'm pleased that this time I was able just to send the pictures of his beautiful daughter.
I think I've come to the realization that I was supposed to meet and marry him so that I could give birth to the true loves of my life and so I could be for them the mother that I didn't have. Given that, I think he fulfilled his obligation to me and I wish him nothing but happiness in his life moving forward. I have all I need to be happy.
