Sandi, if you are reading this, you told me that if I were to start dating again, we should talk.
I am still developing a mental picture of you. I see you as being driven by your goals. Saying that I needed to talk to you when you were ready to date again, came after I learned that you met your W on a dating site (which is okay) and upon meeting her in person the first time........you immediately took her to a hotel and had sex. I think your goal was to find a wife. I can't remember how long the two of you wrote back and forth before meeting in person, but picking her up and going to a hotel and having sex was moving at microwave speed, IMHO.
I tried to find the posts that described your date with this new woman, but I never found it. Just by reading how you took her rejection gracefully, I have to think you went into the date emotionally moving too fast, too heavy. or too serious. I'd guess you were acting on the new high feelings of confidence (not to mention your span of time without a woman giving you sex). Unlike your W, this woman apparently was not ready to jump into physical affection right away, but I need to read about what happened.
A lot of women are much more forward than they were in my dating years. Some are eager to have sex. However, there are women who want to get to know the man more, and be in his presence a while before she's comfortable with physical touching. Women will either want romance, or they just want to hang out with the guy. What was your goal when you took the woman out? Were you going out with her to have sex? Did you want to go on the date b/c you are looking for W#2? Do you see the purpose of a date is having sex?
I wonder, with you not feeling experienced in the dating field, if you came off being too forward or fast, due to you trying to imitate someone else? .
Before I say anything else, I want to hear what happened. Can you point me to the post, or briefly explain about her "rejection"?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
