Clinging to Hope

[hope2019]

Thank you Ready...I think I have exhausted myself reading through everything but it just reconfirms that hope for me.

Before now the longest he and I had gone without talking was 3 days. Today a friend of mine reached out to him without telling me, she was worried about him, like we all are as this is so out of character for him. He replied to her and said he hopes I continue on my journey to getting better and that he still wants the divorce but like he has told me it doesn't mean we can't try again in the future.

There's that hope again, but also I feel like he is literally telling me what he needs me to do...get better. I was so independent when we met but became so dependent on him after so many bad things happened. So I think that's what the get better part means. I relied on him too much to be my happiness instead of creating it for myself.


Yesterday would have been my dad's 70th birthday and I reminded him of it before he went away, he forgot, I'm not surprised it's not like things are normal now, but I guess our friend reminded him. I immediately got a text from him this morning saying he felt bad about not remembering yesterday and he hoped I was ok. I waited a few hours and replied, "thank you, acknowledged it but didn't dwell on it".

I wanted to be No Contact, but he has told me before that he would dread coming home if he thought I was angry at him or that there would be conflict. he is back from his trip (in house separation), on Thursday, and I think if I had gone along with not replying, it would have made him think I was angry about him forgetting.

Did I do this wrong or right?

I need patience. That's what I am struggling with.