It wasn't the answer I was hoping for but it was the one I was prepared for and I am in a way glad she clarified. She is 100% convinced that she wants D and it looks like there is no turning back.
These little temperature check convos are completely pointless, because OF COURSE she said that because that is what she is thinking at this moment in time. In 5 minutes? An hour? A week? A year? Who knows, their minds are all over the place. I'm always surprised that despite us saying this over and over again we still have LBS's come here and say "welp that's it, I asked her again and it's all over." Did you expect her to say otherwise after only a few months of DB'ing? You've got to dig down and find some patience!
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Today feels like some of the limbo land feelings have cleared.
You're only in limbo if you choose to be. Standing for your M, working on yourself, making goals and achieving them, none of that is limbo.
Originally Posted by RyanHun
Trying to work with her on scheduling is driving me to the brink of insanity. My stance on some of the issues is an easy one. Example last Friday she had booked an appointment for D4 to have her pre kindergarten shots. Friday is my day and I found out about it on Thursday evening. I advised W that obviously D4 needs her shots and medical appointments are of the utmost importance but it is not acceptable for her to be booking appointments that she expects me to take D4 to with out ever consulting me prior to making the plans.
I ran into this same issue with my ex early on. Here is my suggestion (it worked for me)- send her something in writing describing the amount of advance warning you need for this type of thing and ask her if moving forward she can comply with that. If she agrees then you have an "agreement" (an offer and an acceptance). Then the next time she tries this just politely tell her that you can't on such short notice, and remind her what the agreement is. She'll eventually "get it".
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Now I get a message that she wants to go away this Sunday through Monday.
Similar to above, come to an agreement on how much advanced notice you need before taking the kids on "off" days. Then hold her feet to the fire.
I know it's difficult, but you've got to look at these things as business transactions and remove your feelings from it. Forget about where she's going or why, that doesn't matter. My ex and I have often swapped out days or even entire weeks due to plans coming up, sometimes it's business and sometimes pleasure but eventually it gets to the point where you could care less what she's doing.
