still don't know if my w situation if its ww,waw,or some crisis honestly.
Same, I can't tell if my H is a WAS or MLC. He kind of shows signs of both. Is there a possibility that they're just somewhere in the middle?
Journaling..
Started writing a pros/cons list to make me feel a little better about whats happening. Heres the rough draft
Pros -he loved me, and I genuinely felt it up until recently -he was kind (up until recently) -he was my best friend, and for a long time I felt I could be myself with him
Cons -we don't want the same things, I’m ready for a family and our own home-- he “wont be ready for that for at least another 5 years, minimum, maybe more” -He has no ambition. As in, when I’ve asked him to look into the future with me and where do we see ourselves and his answer is always “I don’t know” -he cant put down his phone to pay attention to me, even when I directly ask him to. Even when I’ve literally spoken the words “I’m just asking for a little of your attention” in which I’m met with anger and frustration -I’m in charge of all the housework, even when I ask for help he wont help me or he’ll do it for the three seconds I’m in the room and the second I walk away he stops. -He’s terrible with money and I feel we’re financially moving nowhere -I feel like because of this, he holds me back and tells me I cant go back to school because we cant afford it -He criticizes me about my social anxiety and the criticism has gotten more frequent. (one of the parts of myself I’m working on) -He has a slight drinking problem -He’s emotionally unavailable, and has been for a long time. Which sometimes makes me question the genuine love I listed in the pros.
This probably isn't a great way to think, but its kind of getting me through this separation period. Maybe we just aren't meant to be and we kept pushing for it anyway? Maybe thats a piece to all this. I'm sure he's got a big pros and cons list for me too, so I'm not going to pretend this is all on him.
