Hello Grace

You are in withdrawl from H. Your brain is screaming out for the chemicals it once produced due to the loving feelings you experienced from your relationship. Detachment, indifference are taking hold and as such those feelings are fading and so is the chemical, hence the painful withdrawl.

The urges to call, to speak to him, to snoop on social media, to obsess over him and what he is doing, are incredible powerful and so painful. You are battling your mind. This is a fight, use your logic and reason to see beyound all the pain and feelings of despair. They are feelings, they will flit away. Feelings are fleeting. Do not feed them!

There is a lot of anxiety and anxiousness in your post. A lot of worry and fear about possible future events. You are correct with your assessment of it being irrational. That does not mean crazy, it just means not logically based. Get in you intellectual car and reason your way through this rough patch.

Perhaps this may give you some help:

Fear

In case you do not get the “car” reference:

Path of the LBS

Originally Posted by Grace21
I want to feel hope. I think that is a long way off for now. But I can find my peace again, it was there. I felt it. And contentment, too.

This is just a temporary setback. I have to believe that.

The last sentence is very correct. I have to believe that.

You want to feel hope again. You felt peace.

Believe in hope. Believe in peace. To have peace - be peaceful.

Feelings are temporary. Feel them, and acknowledge them for they are real. Then quit feeding them. Rationalize your fears and the irrational causes of these temporary intense feelings. Your intellect is stronger than your emotions, you are the LBS not the MLCer.

It is humbling to see just how close we actually are to our spouses, to get a tiny taste of what they are enduring.

Believes can be created or destroyed by thoughts and feelings. Thoughts can influence your beliefs and feelings. You want hope, peace, compassion, forgiveness - think that way. This will create feelings that support that. Feed those feelings! These feelings and thoughts will reinforce and create beliefs of hope, peace, compassion, and forgiveness.

Your beliefs, your values, your convictions, your spirit - is where those very virtues live. Get in you intellectual car and start it up. Then get in your spiritual car and start feeding them.

This part of the path is expected, it is rough and painful, and leads to a much better place.

DnJ

Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.