we held on to save money for the wedding...it was an amazing few days but his family and friends have always made me feel really excluded...they live in a different country. They often say things to him like "we are losing you to her"...and so I didn't really make any effort with them. We also needed to give his family and friends the time to save to come to an international wedding....about 150 people came transatlantic for us which was amazing...but I had very few people there so much happened in our relationship (career change for me, where I cut everyone out, lost niece and nephew and experienced depression, his brother sued him and his family blamed him for it and me for him not being invited to the wedding....I forgot who I was in it all).
I have already lost 20lbs int he last 12 days and feeling more confident...have another 55 to go and I know I can do it...
I have been trying to GAL but I feel like a ghost when I am there at the moment...considering a career change as I have been unhappy for a while which has contributed to all this... I keep trying to focus on moving forward with or without him, I just know we are meant to be together.....we are 2 people different from the world but the same to each other.
He keeps telling me he does love me... but needs to break completely apart to see if it is enough...
He is honest..almost too honest and so I don't think he would keep giving me the hope if it wasn't there... but I'm afraid of not being able to move on while I have hope.
ILYBINILWY - 11/19/18 Got Better - 12/20/18 Counseling - Jan and Feb MIL issues - Jan BD - 2/13/2019 IHS - 2/14/2019
