R2C, I totally understand that I should fight to save my MR for my D5.
But I tried. I tried over the course of a year to try to give her enough slack to rediscover herself but she ended up going deeper into the rabbit hole in the form of OM2. "Love" and "Happiness" in her definition was a priority. And I was not allowed to give that to her. In hindsight, I was not ready to give that to her. She fought me every step of the way and honestly, she was expecting me to follow HER process of reconciling. No compromises on her end and her not leaving OM2 told me all that was needed that an R is not worth it.
Also, I have made a lot of positive changes to myself. WW has not. There is very little about her I find attractive. I don't find her physically, mentally, or emotionally attractive. I see a convoluted mess that I will need to deal with and to be quite honest, I don't want to anymore. I am not going to settle for a functioning shell of a marriage just to keep our family intact. I tried to do that, and it made me worse for the wear. I love ME enough to know that I deserve better. I may not always get it, but I damn well am going to try.
My D5 deserves to see her daddy happy. A happy daddy makes for a happier D5. And for now, in my eyes, my D5 is the only other person who deserves the love and attention she requires from me. Right now, the only people I will actually pursue a better R with is myself and D5.
