[Wanted1]

Well, it's been a while for me, but today is D day. W finally agreed to most of my demands in how we would split up property, custody, etc. I relented on a few minor things that I can live with. I believe I have truly detached after a long road of getting there. No emotion, really, today whatsoever. It is sad to think that 9.5 years will now be over with the stroke of a judge's pen but what can you do. I'm not focusing on that, I'm focusing on a bright future ahead.

Our 60 day cooling off period was up last week. I hadn't heard a thing from W regarding property division, etc. since very early in January. The weekend before last, I decided to send her a message and let her know that we need to get this finished up. I'll be honest and say that part of that was because I received unsolicited information that OM sent her flowers on Valentine's Day to her work. That was the final straw. I was willing to 'do nothing' for awhile, but I finally decided that I'm over it. Over her and over the situation. I wasn't willing to subject myself to her and the process any longer. She sent me a revised draft of an agreement on Wednesday and we both signed Friday and sent it to the court for the judge to sign the order. After she had signed, I told her that I simply wanted her to end our marriage with some honestly and admit to me that she lied when she said she wasn't naive enough to think that the grass is greener elsewhere and to admit that she lied to me when she told me she was going to cease communication with him until our relationship was completely over. Of course she couldn't be honest with me and told me that the flowers were anonymous and that she felt she was better off alone. Both lies. I laughed to myself and thought, good riddance.

I had a GAL trip with some friends at the beginning of February. Met a girl who will be very long distance but we have been talking a ton for the past 4 weeks or so. The amount of things we have in common is utterly mind blowing. A couple nights ago she text me "you seem too good to be true." I can't tell you how great it felt to hear that from such a beautiful woman. We have plans to meet up in a couple weeks. I truly believe the distance factor will help simply because the dynamics of it will require us to take things slow and I'll still have quite a bit of time on my own and for myself. It won't be like I'm jumping into a full blown relationship right away.

I cannot say whether or not DB would have work in my situation had I followed everyone's advice from the get go. Part of me thinks it wouldn't have made a difference. But, I will say that I think it absolutely expedited the process of moving on and becoming a better individual. I truly appreciate everyone's comments and advice that they have given me on here and also found comfort and additional advice and the like in following some of the other sitches. If I were to give any newcomer any tidbits, it would be to listen to the vets and do as they say immediately. I didn't at first and like I already said, I can't say whether it would have helped save my marriage or not, I just know that nothing else worked so you might as well use their knowledge to your advantage.

I hope to continue to check the forum out and keep up on some of the sitches I've been following. I know none of us want D, but I've come around to the line of thinking that mine is probably for the best. I hate it for my kids. I hate that I won't be able to spend every day and every holiday with them, but I also know that I'll make the most of every day and holiday I do get with them and they will always come first. Someday, they will understand what I went through and hopefully they will look at me with that much more admiration, appreciation and respect.