My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 6

[ovrrnbw]

Hi guys,

thanks for checking in on me. Her statement about wearing her ring was really the impetus for me to start to get out and GAL and let the chips fall where they may. I wanted to be honest about my fears of actually doing my GAL stuff, b/c I knew it felt off. Thanks for setting me straight everyone!

Of course I still have emotional swings about all of this and I am getting better at recognizing and mitigating them. The one year mark is close and of course it pisses me off. Then I think about Nicole, and can't help but think that I'm wasting my time sitting around here hoping my W will change. But anyways I've been using the stop sign technique and others to not dwell on negative thoughts. This all just takes me back to detachment and like Gordie said, acting from my core beliefs, removing the emotions, and being true to myself. I am committed to doing that.

Friday night I went out with 1 friend for dinner and cocktails, which turned into another friend coming out, then meeting up with my sister and her friends. Very fun. W was calling and texting to see when I'd be home. She had been freaking out about me going out since Thursday morning when I told her. I also told her it should only be a couple of hours, but the fun lasted longer, and of course W was outraged Fri night and Saturday morning. My mistake was to comfort her when she was mad about me going out with friends.

Saturday I spent the day recovering. Sunday W and I started the remodel on my office space and should have it wrapped up soon b/c the remodel is only 700 sq ft or so.

Ginger, I really don't see the need to argue with W over the craziness that is her existence right now, but I do wonder if I should just refrain from bringing up her inconsistencies in MC. Or if I should even go to MC. I mean, for all that I know, W may still be in text contact with the OM. I have no transparency set, I let W break the Snapchat boundary. But I'm going to face my fears here, I've been letting those emotions control my decisions for long enough.

I'm thinking about trying hot yoga, inspired by Davide. I've always been a weightlifter so this will be a change for me. Also sports leagues are starting up soon, I'm excited for that as well. And yes, maybe I'm going to get out on some fishing trips - those last all weekend, right? Haha yes they do. And the LA trip is coming up the week of 4/8.

I am also going to commit to some more reading for fun, marriage education, psychological health. Truth be told I'm getting tired of the computer. Thanks for all of your continued support.