Dating after Divorce

[Dawn70]

So, is it "normal" to be at a 2?

Honey, "normal" is just a setting on a dryer. Who is to say what is normal? I think that everyone has tap danced around it in their responses and everyone is quick to say oh I'm a 7, 8, 9, whatever, but in all reality, regardless of what "experts" say, some people are at the lower end of the scale and whatever the reason is, it is THEIR reason. Maybe psychological, maybe physical, whatever. It isn't anyone else's place to say that someone "should" be a certain level.

Having said all that, I do agree with the consensus of most that you need to be with someone who matches your level. If you are an 8, you don't want to be with a 2 and vice versa. I think that those numbers can fluctuate and be situational as well. Just because someone is a 2 today doesn't mean that they can't climb to an 8 in the right circumstances.

Following my divorce, I would have considered myself on a negative scale where sex was concerned, if that was even possible. I didn't want to see, touch, be with a man in any sense of the word. Just wasn't where my head was. It took me a year to get past that and then I was back to MY normal. I also went through a time in my M where I was pretty low on the scale because my husband was having a health crisis and it was all about getting him out of the woods and surviving and back on his feet, eventually. It is hard to think about sexy things when you are playing nurse and dressing open wounds left from botched surgeries and that sort of thing. In the moment, I was at a 1 or 2 on my best day, but once all that was behind us, I again, got back to what was normal for me.

I'm not saying that there isn't merit to what the experts say about sexless marriages being detrimental, but what I am saying is that people do naturally have different sex drives and those drives are fueled by MANY different factors so for anyone to say what is "normal" is kind of a moot point because one person's normal may be another's dud.