Your informal arrangement does sound like it is working, so I would not change anything. You might want to consider seeing a lawyer to inquire what might happen and where you would stand in that. This is just for information, in case W pushes something. This is not to actually start any proceedings, and you do not tell W about it or anything you learn.
I can certainly understand you feeling awful for the exchange of words between her and you. This is very stressful, so be gentle on yourself, learn from it, and continue to move forward.
Why do you see N/C not changing anytime soon? Is N/C being implemented by you, her, or both?
If you want to let her know the door is open, show her instead of telling her. You have 50/50 custody so you two must converse a little here and there. Tell her you are planning a birthday party for D7 and are wondering if she would like to attend. Whether she accepts or not you have demonstrated an open door.
Your attitude of her attendance is that it is best for D7. It is difficult, but when it comes to the kids put their needs first and be a team with their Mom.
Originally Posted by Father5
So I can't do anything but give it to her.
Negative statements like that have a way of getting inside us and taking hold. Yes, strictly speaking what you said is true, when just looking at her.
However, you can be the best Dad you can be. You can heal, find compassion and understanding. You can grow and learn. You can be an awesome role model for your sons and daughters, and other people as well. I am sure you get the idea.
You are doing fine buddy.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
