Embracing my inner me

[Grace21]

Father5 - Sorry you find yourself on this arduous journey. I will take a look at your sitch. Never have I thought someone would benefit from my posts. I feel like I only complain, and take advice. Thank you for your words. They mean a lot to me.


Journaling......

Amazing what a difference 5 days can make from a horrific and trying situation. I feel more grounded and at peace.

I saw H today, briefly. He came by to pick something up to bring to the kids. He went to see them today. He helped me with something. It was a normal exchange.

The sting that he is seeing/sleeping/and maybe periodically shacking up with OW has lessened. It is what it is. Can't change it, so no use dwelling on it. When the vision of them together comes to mind (as it does way too often), I go to prayer, and ask God to give me guidance. And I get busy. With whatever I can do. Clean, cook. bible study, whatever. It helps.

I still hear the words Wait and Patience when I ask God for Guidance. I will obey for now.

I messaged H that his birthday was coming up next weekend, and if his schedule allows I would like to mark the day. He initially messaged back he would get back to me on that, but it might work out to have lunch if he comes over to do yard work. When he arrived, he said he would see me see me next Saturday. I felt strongly that marking his birthday was the thing to do. I have NO expectations that it will be anything meaningful in the R department, and won't initiate any R talks. We will just see what happens. He was receptive to mark the day. I will leave it at that.

I am fully aware that my invitation was not the B-ding thing to do, but I felt strongly I should do it. I think we need to look at the "rules" and our own individual situations and make our own decisions sometimes. I am going in with eyes wide open.

Another work week is upon us. I sometimes look forward to Mondays, as it give me a good structure for 4 - 5 days in a row. I have bootcamp Monday and Tuesday night, bible study Wednesday, and this week dinner with a friend Thursday.

I am thankful for all the people in my life that appreciate ME for my unique qualities, are there for me with sound advice and no judgement, and provide the necessary diversions to see me through my storm.

Life is good.