My ex was my first and we were in our 20's. I did not like sex. I tried to avoid it and I did my twice "obligation" I thought there was something wrong with me. I was a healthy woman in her 20's and should have been truly enjoying it. When I got divorced and began having sex with other guys I was like "holy sh!t sex is GREAT" It was my ex, that's why I didn't like it. He is mean and critical and I couldn't get comfortable in bed with him. He cared only about his sexual needs, and never about mine. When he was done (usually in 2 minutes) he was done. Never spoke openly about sex, things we might like to try, what I might like, if I got mine (which I NEVER did). When I was able to be more open, and comfortably myself and had considerate partners, I wanted to give as much as I wanted to get. M and I have a GREAT sex life. (sorry TMI) he turns me on physically, mentally and emotionally. He is very giving and we have an amazing chemistry.
And I will speak to what Don said about even the "pain" for a woman during sex. Someone close to me used to think she had no sex drive and it hurt. Then she began an A and with that man, no more pain and she really enjoys sex. Her M has been bad since the beginning and she had no attraction to her H for many reasons. Happened to someone else I know too.
So I really don't believe there are many people who really don't have a decent sex drive. I think it is more to do with who you are having sex with and the underlying causes.
