Embracing my inner me

[Rita]

Gerda, I appreciate you support in my faith journey. I could use some direction in my prayers, and accept your offer to do one today. I'm curious. Any special reason for nine days?

Hi, Grace -- A novena is a nine-day prayer practice, and people do it when they have a crisis or something urgent to pray for.

You wouldn't really pray a novena to end your H's MLC, I mean, you could, or maybe do a novena once a month without expecting immediate answer; but I would say more, if you want to try a novena, to think of it was a way to put yourself in God's will, which has to include some acceptance of your circumstances, but asking him for the graces He can give you to bear that cross. You can pray one for a smaller intention -- e.g., clarity to know how to speak to H. I have prayed a novena for my son when he was in a particularly dark moment, that God would speak to him. Or for courage to face my cross when it seemed impossible.

I once prayed a novena, with a friend from church, to know if I should ask my H to leave, that God would give me clarity on what action to take since I was so confused. Then I just gave myself to the prayer each day and surrendered any desire to know the answer until the end of the novena, just tried to give myself to trusting God. Literally on the 9th day something happened to show me very clearly that I should not ask him to leave.

But it is equally possible that if I did that now, the answer would be that it is time for him to go. I feel that now he should go, though my intention is still healing for us both so that our M can be restored one day.

I don't mean that a novena is magic, on the contrary; to my limited experience, it helps you to align yourself with God's will and to be ready to listen to his Word -- in scripture or in the little whispered ways He speaks to us throughout our days/weeks/lives. It strengthens you and opens your eyes.

And like all prayer, of course it is powerful when two or more "gather in My name"!

So I will pick a novena for us to do and we can each pray for clarity out of our fogs, and then you can have some personal intention you tell God alone.

I assume that a novena directed to a saint would be too big of a leap for you as a Protestant -- I get it, just imagine the leap for me as a convert from Judaism! So I will find something today and post it to you.

And then my other question is if you want me to just send you the prayers in a link or if you want me to post the novena here each day for you to read.

Also -- Post a prayer request on Rejoice Ministries, and if you are lucky they might call you to pray with you on the phone.

(I have also found that praying the divine mercy on a rosary is a path to peace when nothing else works. I know that might be too big a leap for you, it's "very Catholic," but if you ever can't sleep or can't get a hold of your racing heart, you might give it a try. In my darkest moments after my H filed, when I could not sleep for hours and finally forced myself to try that, it put me to sleep every time. You can use your fingers as the beads.)