Bit of a dolly downer day today. Probably tired from too many GAL activities. I feel a bit down about the lack of respect that someone who was with me for 30 years could show to me and what that means about me. He told me that for the last 2 years he had no difficulty lying to me. Now, I know people will say that is no reflection on me etc etc but is that really the case? What is it about me that means that somebody could have so little respect?
FS, you are spot on with your analysis. The 1 sticking point is an unrealised asset (parcel of land with planning permission) which he claims was his plan for discharging the mortgage. It's very difficult to value as it may never get developed.
If I settle now, I will have to take a mortgage, which is fine but in 5 years time he could get a windfall from this deal. I will take a much reduced equity now due to the remortgaging of the property. We need some detail about this so that I can make a judgement, but he is stalling.
Divorce hadn't been in his plan it would seem. He was visibly shocked when I asked for the marriage certificate. I told him the Ls rationale for doing it all in one go and also that she was a little sceptical at what he had put on paper.
I don't think for a minute that the shock was to do with the R ending formally, but more to do with the realisation that 'silly little me' had actually sought legal advice and wasn't going to just accept what he proposed. He doesn't compute that 'I find it really easy to lie to you' will stay in my mind for all manner of our interactions.
Naively, I thought that once I stated that there was no longer a M then we would part amicably and fairly. It's not looking that way at the moment. I hate the fact that it gives him power over me and that it is still all about him. I gave him a deadline, so will just have to wait and see what he does.
Heading out to my friend's 50th so will forget all about this slump and enjoy good company.
