Hey Nicole - thanks for dropping by. I definitely was not able to bounce back faster before. Something like this would've eaten at me for days if not weeks and I would've wasted away emotionally and drained my energy. DBing and doing the emotional work has allowed me to truly get at my emotions and understand them way better - the root causes and then doing something to chip away at the root cause. In this case it is me improving my self-worth and value. I keep at that with doing everything to the best of my ability every day - at work, with kids, with my personal goals. I do a check nightly to see if I operated with my values today and what I can do better. And I don't judge myself for failing. I take it as a data point, scrutinize it, and then plan to do better. It's been amazing when you get emotionally healthy and improve how you talk to yourself.
So, I had a brief chat with W today in person for about 15 mins. I basically laid it out for her in a calm collected manner. She explained to me why she did what she did - I wouldn't do it her way, but I at least understand it. However, she still went against our agreement and I didn't let her get away with that. The most I got was an acknowledgment, but no apology. it was absolutely hilarious to see.
There is so much anger still in her and she is not emotionally healthy. I said my piece and then it was pretty much over. She got slightly defensive but I was just cool and as a cucumber and it was intoxicating to be in that sense of detachment and control.
I will most likely meet the guy as he's going to be around the kids enough for me to put a face to a name and take a brief stock of him. I'll probably wait a few weeks to get everything settled. She wanted me to meet him right away and I could sense that this was a check mark for her to be like everything is all done and good. I'd like to make both of them sweat for a while, but also take the time to gather my thoughts and what I want to get out of this meet and greet.
She's still in fantasy land - wanted me to come over for dinner and meet him over food. I don't break bread with anyone who is not going to be in my personal life in some capacity. Also, amazed that she would think that was an appropriate thing to do. I'd be amazed to see if the dude would agree to that. It's absurd.
Anyways, I am doing dope and still on track with life. Thanks Davide for the reminder on zero expectations. I needed to remember that for sure for the meet with exW. Not getting an apology for her breaking the agreement was just telling and I almost wanted to laugh during our chat. She's still emotionally broken and a new relationship ain't fixing $hit.
