Embracing my inner me

[Grace21]

How is your knitting? And did you bake your February loaf of bread?DnJ

I totally fell off the wagon on both accounts! I didn't even bake January's bread! I'll get a recipe out today and go for it! I'll look into those knitting classes too!

Thanks for the kick in the a**.

Funny how my day just filled up. A very supportive friend is taking her boys (teenagers) to their various sports today, and invited me along to watch the baseball game. After I feed the birds, finish detailing my car, bake my bread and maybe, just maybe tackle a closet, I'll head over there. A friend is coming tonight so we can plan her party for tomorrow.


Gratitude items for the day:

1. BootCamp and the circle of friends I have there.
2. A sound mind and body.
3. Living in my own home surrounded by my own things.

You are all my rock.

[Gordie]

Grace that sounds awesome

Boot camp was a great IRL escape during the worst of times

Google no-knead bread

You will not be disappointed

[Grace21]

So I decided to tackle the bonus room. I'm completely remodeling it. It was my kids gaming room when they were still at home.

There were 4 HUGE boxes of Hs books. In moving them all downstairs (now re-boxed and stored in a closet labelled Hs books), I found a book on surviving your husband's midlife crisis. I won't post the title. Now, these boxes have been sealed for several years. Why in the world would that book be in there?????

Very strange. In spite of all the help I get here, I thought I'd nose through it. Maybe it was found for a reason, and if I get 1 or 2 sentences that can redirect and regroup me, it will be worth it.

Didn't get to the bread today. But the birds are fed, and I'm satisfied with my progress.

Soon I will be off to watch baseball with a good friend.

Life is good.

P.S. thanks for the suggestion Gordie!

[peacetoday]

reading on MLC was very helpful for me-

At first , finding out about OW is very painful
once processed, it becomes less so-

usually the R don't last and if they do last as my XH R to OW-
they become horrible for both parties

keep working on you-

all things will pass

[job]

You will that book to be very useful. If it is not on our ready materials thread, you may want to post the title and author there for others to view it when they need to refer back to some helpful materials. Here's the link to that particular thread:

Recommended Reading Material

[Grace21]

Job - I didn't know there was a reading thread. Thanks for pointing that out. I added the book.

Journaling.....

One more day to the weekend. I want to be productive. I think that bread will be baked today.
H is visiting the kids at university today. First time EVER he has gone alone (S21 has been there 4 years). S21 invited him. I'm glad he didn't make an excuse, and will spend the day with both of them.

I have fleeting thoughts that I hope he looks at those two and realizes what he could possibly loose if he continues on his path with OW. But, I will stifle them, as that is completely out of my control. Useless. Wasted energy.

I came across a quote yesterday, that seemed so meaningful. I think I'm going to start putting some of these on index cards, and I can pull them out anywhere when I'm having a rough moment. Bible verses too.

"You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending".
C.S. Lewis

Peace.

[job]

I love that quote and it is so very true.

Enjoy your day and good luck w/the bread baking.

[DnJ]

Ooh, love that quote!

I also love fresh baked bread. Mmmm.

[Rita]

Gerda, I appreciate you support in my faith journey. I could use some direction in my prayers, and accept your offer to do one today. I'm curious. Any special reason for nine days?

Hi, Grace -- A novena is a nine-day prayer practice, and people do it when they have a crisis or something urgent to pray for.

You wouldn't really pray a novena to end your H's MLC, I mean, you could, or maybe do a novena once a month without expecting immediate answer; but I would say more, if you want to try a novena, to think of it was a way to put yourself in God's will, which has to include some acceptance of your circumstances, but asking him for the graces He can give you to bear that cross. You can pray one for a smaller intention -- e.g., clarity to know how to speak to H. I have prayed a novena for my son when he was in a particularly dark moment, that God would speak to him. Or for courage to face my cross when it seemed impossible.

I once prayed a novena, with a friend from church, to know if I should ask my H to leave, that God would give me clarity on what action to take since I was so confused. Then I just gave myself to the prayer each day and surrendered any desire to know the answer until the end of the novena, just tried to give myself to trusting God. Literally on the 9th day something happened to show me very clearly that I should not ask him to leave.

But it is equally possible that if I did that now, the answer would be that it is time for him to go. I feel that now he should go, though my intention is still healing for us both so that our M can be restored one day.

I don't mean that a novena is magic, on the contrary; to my limited experience, it helps you to align yourself with God's will and to be ready to listen to his Word -- in scripture or in the little whispered ways He speaks to us throughout our days/weeks/lives. It strengthens you and opens your eyes.

And like all prayer, of course it is powerful when two or more "gather in My name"!

So I will pick a novena for us to do and we can each pray for clarity out of our fogs, and then you can have some personal intention you tell God alone.

I assume that a novena directed to a saint would be too big of a leap for you as a Protestant -- I get it, just imagine the leap for me as a convert from Judaism! So I will find something today and post it to you.

And then my other question is if you want me to just send you the prayers in a link or if you want me to post the novena here each day for you to read.

Also -- Post a prayer request on Rejoice Ministries, and if you are lucky they might call you to pray with you on the phone.

(I have also found that praying the divine mercy on a rosary is a path to peace when nothing else works. I know that might be too big a leap for you, it's "very Catholic," but if you ever can't sleep or can't get a hold of your racing heart, you might give it a try. In my darkest moments after my H filed, when I could not sleep for hours and finally forced myself to try that, it put me to sleep every time. You can use your fingers as the beads.)

[Grace21]

Thank you Gerda! I'm at more peace today than I was 5 days ago, for sure. It's interesting that you spoke about praying a novena to seek God's will for whether you should ask your H to move out. I wish I had had more faith at that time, and had turned to prayer. I believe now that was not a wise thing to do. Perhaps this belief is wrong. But it's there all the same. Perhaps this belief is because my H accused me of throwing him out and not caring he was living in a bad situation (not true, of course). Really, these were both choices HE ultimately made. He could have said. "No, I don't want to move out", and he could have chosen better places to live.

But, that's water under the bridge, and I got side-tracked.


Please message me with the prayer links.

Thank you!