Just keep swimming, I know I can, New beginning

[marina7]

DnJ

Always look forward to your advice, and how you see W thoughts.

Thank you (((((DnJ)))))

No you didn't miss anything. I am not dating. I wanted to be funny

I wanted to see W reaction. W was sure fishing but your right W is already
Fighting her demons don't need to add on to it.

So I will not make anymore remarks of girlfriends as I don't,


Yes the touching arm and rubbing caught me off guard.

We had bad storm here and tattoo where over 1yr and 8 months just shows how W didn't
Pay attention.
I have Virgin Mary on my arm as a statue pretty cool tattoo with rosary around
Arm. W exact words where.

Oh is that a picture of your girlfriend, so yes W is fishing to see if am dating
I did smirk and said No is Virgin Mary and explained that's when she grab my arm and look
Around it. W reaction was priceless.

Also many will think Lesbians, lol I have long black hair. I once did crossfit in my twenties
And was a track runner for 4yrs in high school.

So I must say being in shape in a young age, has help me with my lupus and MS
Doctors say the way I eat and take care of myself is why many people won't think am sick.

So W hated attention I got already and always said No to tattoos because it will make me
Look more attractive. I must say since tattoo I have more of that look I been told lol.

Who knows what W thoughts are.

I know OW is so the opposite of me, very short, chunky.

S10 is taller then OW lol... I am 5'3 and when we first seen each other I just laugh.

About W and OW marriage
D10 today was sitting in table I usually drink coffee and crackers
D10 sat next to me.

D10 started eating crackers,
M you want some tea
D ummm coffee please
M lol yeah right gave her a sip and said tea
D yes mommy
M while making tea, so how are you
D ok and puts head down on table.
M went over and said what's going on
D just spilled her heart, why why..why
Does W has to constantly remind us I will love your mom always
But am not in love with her
M I am sorry d10
D isn't your fault mom Who cares W is marrying OW
M have you told W how you feel
D W doesn't care
M d try to tell W exactly how you Express to me.

So I told D10 the story when W told me she was marrying OW,
D10 was listening

I said when this happens again reach over to her hand and say Mom I am happy that you are happy and walk
Away.

D10 says Really really mom.

I started laughing so hard.

I then said D your not a dum dumb kid your a very smart girl, I believe once you
Validate your Mom when W says that W will stop.

I said what usually happens when W tells you that.
D I get so mad
M exactly W knows that. Try to do the opposite try this.
D fine mom because I trust you.
M cool

And we both toasted as we stared out the window hearing birds.

While s10 listening to YouTube boys will be boys...

I love my kids thank God I only have 1 daughter to many emotions for me.

So this is where me telling W, They get it they are tired of hearing it. But I can see
W was listening.

Hopefully she will stop reminding D, the boys don't give W reaction so W constantly reminding d

And yes lawyer is done, She has a crappy attitude. This is why I went in to talk
To my therapist who validated that I should feel that way and lawyer attitude wasn't good

The law here is at 13 kids make a decision to which parent they want to be with,
I am just the lighthouse for my kids. Being there for them and being there voices when needed
As again medication for Bipolar isn't something to play with.

And keeping expectations at zero as I know that tomorrow or the next day can be a blowout with W.

But I also noticed W notice my change when W said what happened to the old M.

That made me feel good and I am going on the right direction