MLC husband

[Rita]

Kate, I also had a long slow realization that my H was no longer going to be a dad. After I stopped thinking of asking him, my life did not get any easier but I had a lot more peace. I just adjusted to life as a single mom. I found moms to swap hours with so I didn't have to pay for babysitting as much. I started grocery shopping when the kids were asleep at home with the dog.

My life as a single mom is incredibly hard. I am the sole support for the kids financially, emotionally, time-wise, everything. My H won't even do their dishes when I had to leave them in the sink after rushing to work. In fact, the rare times he makes my D an egg in the morning, he leaves the dirty pan on the stove and the dishes on the table! But emotionally it got easier when I stopped being shocked and angry by that stuff, when I just expected. The rare times it doesn't happen, I get to be pleasantly surprised.

As long as you do not accept your reality, which includes your H being irrational and unreasonable about the kids, you will suffer a lot of pain in your heart. I still suffer this pain a lot, whenever I slip back into forgetting my reality or having any expectations of him.

But if you can try to make a new life as a single mom, any time he takes (and that will at least get easier when there is a schedule, though I have still not made it to a schedule!) will be a bonus.

Too bad we can't make a babysitting swap service for all the LBS moms on this board.

Acceptance is so hard. Even if we know it's good for us. Sometimes I have trouble reading your posts because your name is the OW's name. I even felt scared when you first started posting that you might be her. Isn't that crazy? I just mention it as it shows how much pain we carry around in our little LBS sacks, and how a lot of that pain can be avoided if we accept what we cannot change....