You handled yourself wonderfully. Stayed calm and controlled.
I agree with you, get a second opinion about s9, before jumping on the medication bandwagon. I will also add if you still require a lawyer, get a different one. Your current lawyer does seem to be lacking some concern, and you and they do not see eye to eye.
It is interesting to see your W behaving as a different age and person. The walking around in circles and like a shy 12 years old. And yes, this has to happen, she needs to work through whatever it is.
Her grabbing your arm must have been a little startling. From not touching you for two years to that. I find it curious her reaction to your tattoos also. I wonder what’s up with that. Her statement “you know I didn’t want you with all these tattoos”, might be something from her past or just some idea of how you are suppose to be waiting on a shelf for her. The later is what I would suspect is at the root of her comment, a kind of possessiveness regarding the LBS. You made it pretty plain that you are not her’s anymore.
The letting her guess what you are doing, your birthday and girlfriends. I get it, and really neat reaction from her. I may have missed something along the way on your situation so forgive me if I am mistaken. When W asked how was Birthday and did girlfriend take you out. Your answer “which one” - I didn’t think you had a girlfriend, or more than one.
If you do, that’s cool, that is not my point. If you don’t have girlfriends I wouldn’t try to manipulate her, or cause jealousy. If she comes up with ideas like that, fine let her think what she wants, or correct her if you want. I wouldn’t purposely attempt to lead her along, she is suffering enough, and if she found out you were leading her along it will backfire in a big way.
Originally Posted by marina7
W proceed then to say d10 I had to talk to her. I listen W I told d10 I will always love you will forever have love for you But Am not in love with you.
For what it’s worth, a lot of times MLCer say the opposite of what they feel trying to talk themselves into their wanted beliefs. I think this is an example of that. Her confusion is showing a bit, her feeling bouncing all over the place. She feels something and is doing her best to push it down. If it were true she wouldn’t even bring it up after all this time.
Be careful bring up things like marring OW. You don’t want to put suggestions in her mind, or reinforce ideas of her’s that are counter to your desires.
That was a very welcomed update marina. You have really moved forward well. I’m sure W’s accepting of your apology feels really good.
You know W is going to go off the rails again, keep expectations to zero. And remember she was like this today, a bit more talkative, a bit more friendly, a bit of processing, she can do it again, maybe even for longer and longer. You’ve seen it, and maybe more importantly - so has she.
Have faith. Have hope.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
