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Her BFF was here last night while my wife was coming home from IC. I let her in, only said you can let her know you are here and went up to my room.


shocked Why on earth would you let her in the house when your W is gone? Did you not learn anything from your experience with this so called BFF? You don't let other women (other than family) come into your house when the W is out. You especially don't let them in and then go to the bedroom. This BFF is not to be trusted.

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I am hoping in MC that the OM will be addressed for good or we will stop the MC if it doesn’t.


So you want to attend MC so that your W's affair will be addressed for good? Do you mean, fix it for good? Apparently, that is your only reason for considering MC. The reason I said I thought the two of you would need long term MC is b/c neither of you seem to have a sense of ethical core values. You don't seem to apply good judgement. Frankly, I don't think just regular MC is going to do much of anything to end her affair. If she has a really good IC, then whatever emotional baggage she brought from her past, hopefully the IC can help her face and deal with it. Both of you are currently in IC. A good one might give you tools to deal with issues in your lives........and should your W (and you) decide to commit to the M, and stop having sex with others, then MC would be the next step. If the counselors all work together, then why not ask the two IC's to say when they think each of you have progressed enough to come together in MC?

Do you understand there is more here than your W having an affair? OM is not the real source of your problems. You want him out of the picture, but I promise you she would have OM#2 before you could turn around. So, don't rush into MC thinking it will fix the OM problem once and for all.

BTW, don't tell your W another word that was spoken in your IC sessions.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!