This was a rough week. Every waking moment my brain was bombarded with thoughts of H and OW, feeling sorry for myself. It was every present during bible study, work, and bootcamp. It was exhausting.
Had 2 good cries.
The 2nd one was this morning after my bible reading. I cried hard, and called out to God to tell me what to do, to talk to me, and let me hear. I beseeched Him to guide me. Then, in the midst of my crying and yelling, the word Wait came to my mind. I asked God if he was speaking to me. Again….”Wait”. I asked God whether he wants me to wait for him, and the word “Patience” came clearly to mind. Twice.
Now, I’ve always been a Christian, but this intense, regular prayer and talking to God is fairly new to me – maybe 4 or 5 months. But, I am choosing to believe He WAS talking to me. I hesitate to even put my doubts down here that it’s just stuff I’ve thought a lot about, because then I wouldn’t really be a believer, would I?
I tend to be impulsive. So, waiting is probably a good idea.......
I have a strong desire to write a letter to H. Not to persuade him to dump OW, but to more clearly articulate my thoughts on everything. Emotions were high when we spoke. I feel a strong need to set a few things straight.
I tend to be impulsive. So, waiting is probably a good idea........
His birthday is next week. I am considering sending him a card. Nothing mushy, just to let him know I’m acknowledging his B-day.
Meeting a friend for drinks and dinner in a bit. Have a party at her house on Sunday. Tomorrow morning will be exercise, but I should come up with something for the afternoon. Well, at least there’s a few GAL activities on the books for this weekend!
