MLC? Confused what to do

[ovrrnbw]

So I usually cook dinner and such. How can I do this for the kids but not her. I just want to make sure I am not being cold towards her. I want to detach and such. But what if she is really having a MLC and not WW and I am too tough on her. They are similar based on Sandi's description but it appears to be WW but not sure. I don't want to do something that would back fire and then lose her for good. I have ordered both books but won't be here until Sunday. I have been reading everything but still confused on boundaries and such without placing ultimatums or such on them.

I think a detached response wouldn't care if she ate it. If you tell her you won't cook for her b/c she is a cheater, you are showing that her actions affect you. If there's food I say just let her eat. For now, y'all are living together and you just need to stop letting little things get to you.

Keep reading about boundaries, we'll help you there.

So I got a text earlier from the W. Asked me to put the phone charger that was in my car next to her purse. Then said ”and stay the f out of it” meaning the purse.

I responded that I will not be disrespected. I try not to disrespect you. If you don’t respect me, then I won’t do it for you.

She just replied back that she would just get it herself. I didn’t respond back. When she came home later and tried to hold a conversation I just would answer very short responses as I continued to read the forums.

Next time don't respond. Do not dignify any disrespect with a response. She's an adult and knows how to get a phone charger all by herself.

Just wanted "space" and to get her master's and work on our marriage. But of course, everything wrong with the marriage was me. She can't ever remember being happy, etc. Got married for the wrong reasons.

Anthony, right now she isn't going to be thinking about all the things she got wrong. Human nature just work like this. If she can't remember being happy or she is in pain because of something you did, just learn to validate that and move. She knows she has and is hurting you, but she's not ready to deal with that. You trying to make her see that she is hurting you isn't going to speed up the process of her taking responsibility either. It is what it is.

She is in love with the guy. It is her soulmate. She then says that there are things that annoy her of him.

Please don't sit there and listen to her talk about another man, she is your wife. You really need to toughen up here. When you allow yourself to be the little buddy she talks to about her boyfriend when you are her husband, it really screws with the relationship dynamics. If this was your friend you'd be all over your friend about this.