However at this point I told her that I wouldn't entertain the question while she was still seeing someone else, and that I would need her to recognize what she had done. I also told her that I needed to be with someone who wanted to be with me, and that she still seemed like she didn't know what she wanted. She admitted that that was the case.
There was a lot more said, but for me it became clearer than ever that I truly was in control of the situation because I had put in the hard work of growing and learning to love myself. I no longer needed her.
YES!!!!! It warms my heart when I read posts like this where the formerly sad/ weak/ damaged LBS suddenly finds their inner strength again and regains the control in their life. WELL DONE!
Quote
My plan is the same - to move forward with the divorce and my life. She is so far behind me in working on herself that I have trouble imagining her ever catching up. I encouraged her to put in that work, because she is clearly in pain and not at peace with herself. But, like I told her, no one can do that work for her.
Maybe that is detachment. I dunno.
It is indeed detachment, but more importantly it's "dropping the rope". You will now win no matter whether your M is saved or not. Super proud of how far you've come!
