So I usually cook dinner and such. How can I do this for the kids but not her. I just want to make sure I am not being cold towards her.
She's sleeping with another man and you're worried about being cold to her? Being a nice little househusband to her is NOT going to bring her back. Most of the time waywards do not repent until their H kicks them to the curb. I'm not suggesting you do that, but the point is tough love is about the only thing that works with a wayward.
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But what if she is really having a MLC and not WW and I am too tough on her. They are similar based on Sandi's description but it appears to be WW but not sure.
She's blatantly having an A in your face and is disrespecting you, she's a WW. Maybe MLC triggered it but that doesn't make her any less of a WW.
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I don't want to do something that would back fire and then lose her for good.
You've already lost her. Your goal isn't to cling to her, it's to understand she's gone and let go of your grip on her. You've got to let her go on her journey, which unfortunately in her case probably means exploring the R with OM to learn that it's not all it's cracked up to be. She's got to fail, hit rock bottom, and then start questioning what she's doing. Then after that maybe she'll want to come back. But you can't "keep" her, all you can do is let her go and see what happens down the road.
