I have a clearer head now than I did about an hour or so ago, but I'm still extremely hurt by what just transpired.
I had yet another great day today, though I did have some down moments only because I am in the infancy of a friendship with more possibly down the road. More on that in another post.
As most of you know by now, my living setup is a 3/3 or 3/4 split. I stay at the house with D4 three days per week and WW stays with D4 the other three days of the week. The 7th day is turning into my 4th day with D4 while WW is whatever.
Today was the day I came home. I arrived with the expectation of WW waiting for me with D4 so that we can do the handoff and WW takes off. It was supposed to be a happy evening of snuggles, dinner-making, and movie-watching. I wanted to enjoy it tonight because D4 is going to celebrate her birthday with OM2's friend's kids. The party is a slumber party. I was going to have the evening with the house to myself.
Apparently I was to have the house by myself tonight as well.
I called WW and calmly asked where she was. She told me that she had to take D4 because she had a job interview early tomorrow morning so she wanted to get up, drop D4 off at the sitter, and she goes to the interview. I knew she had an interview. But I did not know nor was I made aware that she would be taking D4 with her to spend the night at OM2's place. I calmly and firmly tell her that I was not told of this plan. I told her that I was to spend the night with D4 like we have done every week for months now.
She claimed that it "slipped her mind and did not think about it". She offered to bring D4 back to the house. I told her no. It was supposed to freeze tonight and I don't want her to risk her well-being. She asked that I go the city where she is staying and take D4 out to dinner. I declined. I was not going to drive in, spend 30-45 minutes having dinner, drop her off, then drive back to my house. It's disrespectful. She offered to have the three of us go to dinner together. I declined that as well.
I calmly told her that it was my night to spend with D4. I have not seen much of her since the beginning of last week and was looking forward to spending some more time with her. I then told her, again calmly, that WW will call me that evening and I am going to read bedtime stories over the phone. WW asked me if I wanted to talk about what just happened. I repeated again that she will call me and I will tell D4 her bedtime stories. I then told her that I need to go, because I was on the verge of saying some truly awful things and needed to stop myself.
I broke down and cried for 40 minutes. The last bit of trust I had for my WW, the part where she said she would never take away D4 from me, is gone. There is no trust.
WW tried to reason with me and claimed that her head was full of so many things and lists. I told her that me seeing my D4 is not a list item. I dug deeper and told her that I never expected to sink to that level. I continued to twist the knife and told her that I never made such an awful mistake in my life. I made and acted out decisions that contributed to the end of my MR, but never ever made a choice, subconsciously or not, to have D4 part from WW. She tried to claim it was an accident. I was not having it. Accident or not, this act should NEVER happen.
There is no redemption anymore. She does not deserve me.
