[quote=Steve85]jac,when progress is made it is the most dangerous time for the LBS. Small steps of progress are proof that what you are doing is working. So you should double down on DBing. GAL, 180s, Detachment (look up self differentiation in marriage). Not to back off of it.
Most of the time progress is what temp-checking and trying to reattach the LBS is confused for. In other words, progress isn't always progress, it is manipulating on the WAS's part.
So don't let your guard down. Keep up the DBing. You will know without a doubt when she si REALLY progressing.
You guys are so right...tonight when I came home we discussed the plan for Friday (sons bday) and she said she was going to go back to her condo to sleep and if it was ok our son would stay with me even though it's her wknd with him. She's nervous b/c the first night he stayed there he didn't sleep well. She did say if I wanted to we could hang out for a bit in the evening. Then she plans on coming back early in the AM bc I have to go into work for a bit. It makes most sense if he stays with her Friday night.
What's the best way to answer this? I don't feel there is any point in us hanging out unless she's the one asking.
She did have her first counselling session last night and she said: "I feel like she understands me and I think it'll help". She went from telling me Wednesday night that she would maybe stay here Friday night to telling me today she would go back home to sleep. Not sure what happened - all I know is I got my expectations too high. I didn't think I did until she told me tonight she would go home to sleep and I felt pretty bummed (even though I didn't really want her to stay here as it's awkward).
Bottom line - I let my guard down a bit Steve and now I feel upset.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
