I think you have the basics down

Stop begging and pleasing

Focus on self and kids

GAL separate from your w

Became the most awesome version of yourself

Leave her alone to her own activities

Let her advance the divorce at her own pace

How are the kids doing?

Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving