Hi everyone, I started noticing changes in my wife around March 2018 she was real distant. I felt something wrong so I asked her if we are getting a divorce and she acted like I was crazy for asking. "Babe I wasn't thinking about divorce Jeez" " You are working a lot and I have just gone into single mom mode and I can't seem to get out of it" "Maybe I can try counseling or something". A month or so after that we were looking at houses together, but still had this distance. I beat myself up thinking this is all in your head that I am depressed and I might need to seek help as I have never felt like that before. This caused me to be clingy and needy. Then in August we trade my car and use the equity to but here a new car. Sept 1st I got the ILYBNILWY speech. I haven't ever been in love with you we are just good roommates.I begged pleaded and cried for a few weeks straight. I go see a lawyer the next day have all the paperwork done giving her everything she is asking for and she didn't want to sign it. I calmed down as I thought she wasn't that serious about it can be worked out. The next day she is filling out some paperwork and I asked what she's doing. She said she is making an appointment to get tubes tied ( I have a vasectomy) and I got upset and was like you are going to do that now. How about how I am feeling.
So I decide to make some changes and take a job on the mainland so we had to move. More money less hours etc etc. I needed to be there for the kids and the amount of hours I was working was unhealthy. I had to move first so I could get a place set up for us and the kids could finish school. I was gone three weeks and she had met someone and fallen in love. She told me about it when she moved out here and I exploded broke a chair and said some awful awful things to her. This went on for two weeks along with more begging pleading and crying. She moved out and is living with her first husband which we all used to get along pretty well. She has been out to see this new guy twice that I know of already. I have been in N/C since Dec 8th and haven't talked about anything except the kids stuff through text only. that has been extremely limited.
I have grown stronger and have my feet underneath me a little better. I still am angry sometimes and resentful but I don't want to be that guy my whole life and I am working to get more peace in my heart. I have started to get a life of my own. I am playing tennis a few times a week and am doing some yoga and running as well.
We have two kids together S/9 and D/7 and three step kids her S/21 D19 D/17. I ma giving her all the space she can handle I will not make first contact unless it is about the kids. I think this is MLC but I am not 100% sure on that. I have decided to stand and try and wait this out. any advice would be great
