I had to go back and re-read your conversation with H. I didn’t think it was about coparenting, and still don’t. I saw it as a desire to understand and to let go. Dwelling on the relationship, lies, etc... will keep you attached. However, we all need a certain level of understanding before we can let go, detach, and move forward.
I had a face to face meeting with my W. Sat across from a woman I’ve known for 30 years and didn’t recognize her. The mannerisms, the speech patterns, the thought structure, and the feelings. All that was recognized, was her face and incredibly thin body, her shell.
A level of understanding is required to keep moving forward. I was cautioned that I had made a mistake having a meeting, perhaps I did. This is not an exact science, a lot of this falls to faith, espically in ourselves, even when that is in very short supply. You still know your situation better than anyone here, and you live the consequences.
Is this meeting even scheduled yet? If not, you can always reconsider.
I am still impressed with your articulation of your thoughts and feelings. I do agree that bringing that here first is a much better idea than being impulsive. For now, what’s done is done. Look to next time.
Looking for understanding is admirable. Be careful, trying to get inside his head will drive you bonkers.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
