Midlife crisis wife

[Wolfman]

Hello everyone. I am new here. I am in need of help. I read DR already but can really use some advice. I have been on here for 2 months reading and have finally deciding to put my story out there.
In August 18 I realized my wife was becoming very angry towards me so I asked her what was going on. After a long talk she said she just wasn’t happy, she explained with her whole life. So, I told her we should just take a break for a few days and that I would move in with my parents this way she can cool off and then I will move back in a few days. We talked everyday on the phone, oh and we have 2 kids D11 and S8. When we talked on the phone she explained that she felt that I didn’t love her because i didn’t kiss her every time I walked out of the house, didn’t greet her at the door when she got home, didn’t kiss her EVERY night we went to bed or that sometimes we didn’t watch tv together. My wife is a big slob she never cleans up after herself or puts her clothes away. My house is a mess all the time. So, I told her her yeah there were times I did not want to kiss her because I would ask her to just put her stuff away and she wouldn’t. She couldn’t believe that I would get upset over that. During this my 2 kids were very upset and crying that we split. Well after a few days I asked if I could come home, she said no, she wasn’t ready. After a few more days I asked again and she said no. I then suggested a MC. She said she would go. After 4 weeks and 4 sessions she said she wasn’t going anymore the MC was taking my side. So we stopped going. But in the last session the MC suggested I move back in the basement (apartment down there) and try and see how living together would work: she was totally against it but I did it anyway. So in the middle of September 18 I moved back in to the basement. At that time she grew very angry that I was back in the house. Sorry one bit of information I left out, we have been married for 14 years and together for 19. I am 40 and she is about to turn 40. Once I moved back in that’s when she started to change. All of a sudden she wanted to go out bar hopping. Which she is not a big drinker at all. Started to become friends with more divorced women. Then in October I asked her if she wanted a legal separation, she said she wasn’t sure. I couldn’t handle living in limbo so I felt I needed her to make a decision. So, in October 18 I decided to reach out to a mediator and have them send her a letter. With the hopes this would snap her out of it and she would want to work on the marriage. When she received the letter in the mail she was shocked. I told her we can either forget the mediator and work on the marriage or do the legal separation. She said she needed to think about it.
Well it backfired, she went and got a lawyer and filed for divorce. When that happened I said what are you doing, she said might as well just get divorced then. Meanwhile she was spending thousands of dollars on a New wardrobe, putting herself in debt(thank to we had split the money before that) going to the gym more, which she hated to do. Bought a spray tanning package. It was like she was becoming a whole new person. Every weekend bar hopping till 1-2 in the morning. I could never talk to her, she would give me one word answers.
Fat forward to January 19 she went out and got a new car, hair extensions and lightened her hair. I tried very hard to stall the divorce because after so much reading I know she is going through a midlife crisis. She rewrote our marital history telling me she has been unhappy for the last 2 years. Never once did she express that to me or anyone. I even sat down with her parents and they said they don’t know what she is doing. Because of her debt she couldn’t afford the lawyer anymore, so she said she wanted to use a new mediator, not the one I originally picked. So, at the end of January we have been going to a mediator. We went twice already.
My question is should I move out again. While I’m in the house I am doing the food shopping , house cleaning, picking the kids up from school, taking them to activities taking care of the bills. And she looks at me as a built in babysitter. Do I stay or move out. Please help.