Gordie 23 one year after she dropped the D

[roist]

Journaling

So w asked to go on a date

........

She talked about making plans for our future together

......

Going on vacation with just the two of us this year

She wants us to celebrate our anniversary

.......

She held my hand as we walked

In bed she has been touching me more

Nothing overtly sexual

But more touching and asking me to hold her

Wouldn't it be great to just forget those words she said and focus on the positives. Easier said than done, but to an outsider we are reading about two different Ws. Actions speak louder than words so this is all great. However we cannot forget and I am sure a part of you is bracing yourself for the next blow. Understandable but it may also unconsciously be blocking you from further progress.

So what to do. You have three choices:
1. Carry on as you have and wait and see how she turns out.
2. Say you have had enough and move out, giving her more time and space
3. Give her what she asks.

I vote for #3. You have nothing to lose by trying to be more there for her. Again this has to be measured and if too much she will either bolt or take you for granted. So keep up your independent GAL activities or even add to them. There are a short series of podcasts called happy wife happy life, that I think you would find interesting to listen to.

Another thing that could be helpful is to keep a W journal. I outlined this before on my thread, but part of it is to note anything she says she likes, wants, enjoys. Then you consult that anytime you want to do something for her and you are sure it will be something she likes. It is a simple idea but a little comment noted today could be a perfect gift in six months time. Plus she will feel listened to.

So take a leap of faith and try giving her what she is asking for. Watch her reaction and adjust as appropriate. However Michelle advises giving stuff time to work. So wait at least a few weeks before judging something as not working.

I am curious as to how she describes your future together.

I would finally add, that at the beginning or at the next time she criticises you for not being there for her, I would hit her with the truth dart about her not being fully in your R and that influences any possible R. No need to spell it out more.

Got to go

Best wishes