I am in an IHS and it doesn't do anything. Its stagnant. It doesn't send a clear message. Had I found this place early, I would have kicked W out. I was that emotionally charged up but I wasn't thinking clearly. I remember one instance W and I went back and forth a little on seeing who would leave. We both didn't so I couldn't force her out. She hasn't been blatant about anything for me to initiate on(I think she fears this, I know if I look for and engage OM, I will end up behind bars.) I thought about moving out and unfortunately I couldn't due to finances. All the while, W is cake eating and pretending nothing is going on...
I do not suggest getting comfortable with the idea of an IHS.
Sometimes we have to set our emotions aside to make it through the moment, the hour, the day.
What do you deserve? Men, we want respect right? And for the WW, that is the ultimate betrayal, to lose their own self respect and respect of their H to go wayward.
Be careful on telling too much too early to friends. Lets say you can turn this around in a year from now, what will all the people say that you've told? You and your W will have to face those challenges.
And no fraternizing with the enemy camp.
It's been 6 months from BD for me. I am to the point where if W served me papers today I would sign them and not weep. I don't have hatred in my heart nor is the emptiness all-consuming. I can see the writing on the wall and after W and I sell this house, the next step will be D. I don't want to live in limbo indefinitely and I would hope you think about that and make the tough decisions early. If you realize you love her enough to let her go, do that early. Show her. Do it from a position that commands respect. Remember to keep the road home paved smooth as well.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
