I know my H meant what he wrote at the time. It was just really sad to read how “all in” he was then and reconcile that with his feelings, or lack thereof, now. That he is so sure his feelings for me are gone that he is willing to throw away everything we have built to “save” himself... from me... the person who has loved him without question, gave birth to his children and took care of everything while he was out chasing...what? I have actually been doing really well lately so yesterday was hard to take on a lot of levels. And then the crying kids...both saying they would just prefer to stay “home”...sad about the split...and yet so used to not having their dad around. Truth is I’ve been dealing with this stuff on my own for a long time but there was always an end to it in my mind. When my H would get “better” and come home. Now there is no end date. He is not coming home. I know this. I accept it. I know that the person he is now is not the person who wrote those letters. That person has, in a sense, died and I guess I am still grieving his passing. Anyway...time to pick myself back up and limit the trips down memory lane. (((HUGS))) to all.
