Rocky Road

[Miler]

Thanks AnotherStander,

As an example of validation, when she said she was frustrated that we were here again, I basically repeated what she said, something like, "I can completely understand why you feel frustrated. I'm feel a little frustrated too. I'm sorry we are here. Is there anything else you are feeling?" She said no to that.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. She had a physical therapy appointment mid-morning, and actually texted me to tell me she was done, her hip was feeling better, and she needed to stop into a store for mittens for our youngest. I said, "Awesome, can't wait to hear about your appointment" to which she texted a few more details (She also initiated some conversation about it later in the day). I made it a point to GAL and do some shopping for myself when she returned. I work from home a couple days a week, so part of me giving her space and GAL is not being under foot all the time when she is home. She runs her own business from home, so she's home frequently.

I also didn't initiate conversation unless it was necessary (about kids pickup, sports, if I could help with dinner, etc.). She didn't initiate a ton last night. However, when we were in bed reading, she turned off the light and said, "Looks like we'll get to bed early tonight. Good night sugar." I told her good night back, but did not say ILY, which would have been our usual.

She was very chatty this morning, mainly about the weather and news. We also had a very nice conversation about window repair around the house. I agreed that her suggestion was a good idea (rather than my typical of ending with my ideas). Going to try and repeat my efforts from yesterday.

I am certainly anxious at times and just want things to feel "normal." I also know that it needs to be a new normal and that takes time. I wouldn't say she's two feet out of the door. She has told me she wants to work on the M and she is hopeful. However, there has been very little to back that up action wise other than initiating pleasant conversation. She also invited me to go run with her this morning. Unfortunately, I have a meeting, but I told her thanks for asking and I'd love to take a rain check.

I have a business trip for 4 days next week. Should I ask her for an hour or two of quality time (which is her LL) before I go or just leave it? I'd really like to connect with her so we have some good vibes/mojo to think about while I'm gone. That's probably not DB'ing at its best thought...