M....I think expressing how you feel is perfectly acceptable if done in an non emotional manner. With that said, at the end of the day, there is absolutely nothing you can do about the decisions your wife makes. You will never be replaced as your kids father. As you know kids have no filter and mine have never one time mentioned anything about mommies bf and how much fun they had with him or anything of that nature. He is never mentioned.
Do some of your feelings stem from your thoughts of inadequacy? Your comments about being physically discarded by your wife and now your emotional requests are discarded as well?
