AS - you're completely right, and that list is bang-on. She is still consistently acting like this.
I am pretty secure in my relationship with the kids and I don't think I am worried about being replaced. I am upset about her going against standards for parenting, when she has easily pointed that out in the past. I am just doing the same to ensure that she understands that I am not just going to take it lying down.
I don't think it's necessarily going to change any of her behaviors, and what you have listed, but I need to be able to address it with her. I can't let her keep disrespecting me, especially when it comes to parenting stuff.
Shouldn't I be standing up for myself here? I am open to thoughts.
